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Why the baby who doesn’t cue a lot needs extra attention

Dr Pamela Douglas27th of Jun 20233rd of Jul 2024

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This article is part of a collection inside The Possums Sleep Program called Deeper Dive, which explores the more complex scientific, historical and social contexts in which families and their babies or toddlers live and sleep. You don't need to read Deeper Dive articles to be helped by The Possums Sleep Program.

Most babies communicate when they need attention. That is, they dial up. Most babies assert their cues into your days so actively that you might even wish your baby was a little less good at communicating at times!

But babies have different personalities. A small number of babies don't dial up much, or only give you very subtle communications or cues. It’s important to pay extra attention to these little ones who don’t cue much. They need a loving adult to make time to wait and watch and look out for their subtle communications, regularly throughout the day.

Of course, you or the carer will have been lovingly attending to your baby’s physical needs minute after minute, hour after hour, day and night! But this is different. This is specially creating opportunities to notice even the tiniest expressions and gestures. This is making the time to watch carefully (as you admire your tiny child’s beautiful little face and being!) and wait for your baby to direct small gestures, facial expressions, or sounds towards you - so that you can respond back. Your responses encourage your baby to be the first one to start communications more often.

The little ones who don’t cue much are at risk of not initiating as much communication over the course of a day, which means they can tend to miss out, over time, on lots of the richness of building back and forth communications (also known as reciprocity chains) together.

If you think your baby isn’t interacting much with you and you're worried about it, I recommend that you speak to your local GP.

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Next up in BSB Why responding matters when your baby cries (even when it doesn't seem to help)

Why growing back and forth communication with your baby matters

father interacting

Make time to notice when your baby initiates communication with you

Good communication goes two ways, even with babies. Can you make space during the day for opportunities to notice and respond when your baby initiates communications or expressions?

Parents are often delighted to notice their tiny newborn's little mouth trying to make a sound, little eyes gazing into theirs, hands and arms and legs moving slightly as if to reach out. As your baby grows, communications become more vigorous and more complicated - an endless source of wonder, if we can make the time in the midst of the busy-ness of tending the baby's physical needs to simply wait upon these communications, and enjoy them when they come!

Your baby's desire to be close to...

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    Why growing back and forth communication with your baby matters
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