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How to do evenings with a breastfed toddler when the breastfeeding mother is not available?

Dr Pamela Douglas28th of Mar 202423rd of May 2024

father plays with daughter in the evening

Enjoy sensory adventures with your toddler in the evening until her sleep pressure is very high

When a breastfeeding woman is not available in the evenings, you'll be able to do bedtime quite easily using your toddler-sleep superpower of rich and changing sensory motor nourishment. You might also still like to use your other toddler-sleep superpower of milk to dial your little one down into sleep when the sleep pressure is very high. You can find out about bottle use and toddler sleep here.

It’s not necessary to dim the lights in the evening. When your toddler's sleep pressure is high enough, he'll fall off to sleep easily with a quick feed of milk (if you are using the bottle) or a cuddle, whether the lights are on or not, as long as he is dialled down.  

Evenings can come unstuck though if you feel you have to put your small child down to bed at a particular time, because that's when she'll remember that her mother is gone and vigorously protest. Instead, you'd continue on with rich and changing sensory motor nourishment until her sleep pressure is so high, that she drops off to sleep in your arms.

  • Enjoy loud, noisy, highly physical play with your toddler. You can find out why this is good for your toddler's nervous system, and doesn't overstimulate him, here

  • You can find other ideas for making the evenings with your toddler as easy and as enjoyable as possible using the toddler-sleep superpower of rich sensory motor nourishment here. Of course, you may face constraints if you are also caring for an older child or children. Older siblings themselves are a powerhouse of sensory motor stimulation for toddlers, and can make the evenings much easier than they would be otherwise, just because they're around.

older child plays with toddler in the evening

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Next up in FAQs

How best to care for your breastfeeding toddler's teeth before bedtime or in the night?

light skinned toddler breastfeeds

You don't need to worry about cleaning your toddler's teeth after she breastfeeds off to sleep in the evening or during the night.

You might have heard that breastfeeding a toddler can cause tooth decay. But this has not been established to be the case in the research, once you look closely. There is an excellent discussion about dental decay and breastfeeding by the Australian Breastfeeding Association here.

There are many advantages to breastfeeding your little one through toddlerhood or longer, if you decide to do this. The World Health Organisation recommends breastfeeding until at least two years of age. Only you know what's right for you and your child. You can find out about weaning from the breast here.

You might be already cleaning your toddler's teeth sometime in the evening, before the bedtime breastfeed. Cleaning your toddler's teeth is often a wriggly, very frustrating activity! If you...

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