It's normal for your baby to need your physical presence and comfort in the night. If you are able to respond to your baby in a physical way, with feeds and cuddles, sleep is easiest overall. You can find out why breastfeeding your baby back to sleep, or using milk in a bottle to feed your baby back to sleep, doesn't cause bad habits, here and here.

From an evolutionary perspective, human beings are social sleepers. From the beginning of time, human babies and toddlers have slept up close to their mothers' or other loving adults' bodies. As adults, many of us still prefer to be sleeping next to a loving partner, if we can.

You may not be a parent who chooses to have your little one in your bed. After six or 12 months of age, you might decide to have her sleeping in her own room. Parents know what's right in their own unique situation. But wherever you are sleeping your little one, responding to your baby in the night when she cries out teaches her trust.

In Western societies from after the Industrial Revolution, parents have been advised to hasten independence in their babies and toddlers, including with sleep. Authorities have given parents a lot of information which we now know, from the latest sciences of attachment psychology and child development, is simply not true. This out-of-date information has included telling parents that babies

• Develop greater independence and psychological maturity if parents are careful not to 'spoil' them

• Should not be exposed to too much stimulation, to protect the developing nervous system

• Sleep best by minimising sensory motor stimulation before sleep

• Require spacing out of feeds, so that they don't develop bad habits and become needy

• Shouldn't be picked up and offered comfort most times when they cry, because this makes them needy

• Should sleep in their own room to teach them independence

• Will develop bad sleep habits and become needy if they are breastfed or bottle fed every time they seem to want it

• Shouldn't be cuddled or held or carried too much because this creates bad sleep habits, is too hard for parents, and also makes your little one needy.

Throughout my life-time, I've watched courageous evolutionary anthropologists and breastfeeding advocates speak out and critique the medical and psychology establishments over the advice listed above, explaining that these approaches come from a specific (Western) cultural perspective.

Now, all the neuroscience tells us that responding to your baby in the night teaches your little one good habits - most importantly, the good habit of believing that life, and those she loves, can be trusted. This good habit will help your baby form trusting, secure relationships, for the rest of her life.