There is no need to rush our little people out of the parental bed. You can do this in a way that suits your own unique family.

For some families, this may be in the latter half of the first year of life or towards one year of age. For other families, it might be when their child is four or five years of age or older. Some cultures and some families share the parental bed with their children into primary school years or more. There is no right or wrong, just what works for your family.

Sharing the same room at nights until your baby is six months of age at the very least, and up to 12 months of age if possible, keeps your baby as safe as possible from Sudden Unexpected Infant Death and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. You can find out about baby safety and bedsharing here if you're breastfeeding, and here if you're formula feeding.

Many of the families I've worked with over the years have found a mattress on the floor in the baby or toddler's own room works well as a transitional arrangement towards independent sleeping, once parents have decided they want to move away from bedsharing, or from having baby in the parental bedroom.

For this to work, the mattress needs to be

• Large enough to comfortably accommodate both a small child and a loving parent. This is because as you do this transition, you might sleep quite a lot of the night on this mattress with your little one.

• Safe, cleared of objects and bedding that could obstruct airways. After six to 12 months of age, children are much more robust in protecting their own airways in the night.

• Very low, so that your little one won't be hurt if she clambers (or falls!) off the mattress on to the floor. A futon can work well for this.

For this to be safe, the room needs

• To be completely child-proofed, so that a toddler climbing around in the night without you present is completely safe

• A child-proof gate at the door.

It's much easier for you to roll yourself out of this floor bed and return to the parental bed, than it is to ease a lovely, heavy, half-asleep, half-wriggling toddler into a cot! Cots stop working for many families somewhere through the second half of the first year of life, and cots don't work terribly well for many or most toddlers, in my experience.

If you fall asleep on the floor bed as you are breastfeeding or cuddling your little one to sleep, that's not a problem. But more and more, you'll be able to roll yourself out without waking the baby and return to the parental bed.

In this scenario, we're wanting your baby or toddler to learn that his room is specially for him, and that it's a place in which he feels happy and safe, with things he likes playing with easily available. It's the only place he sleeps at night (when you're home). You can find out about protecting your little one's sleep throughout childhood here.

A note for families who enjoy bedsharing with older children

If you enjoy sharing your bed at nights with your child or children, you don't have to teach your little one to sleep alone until you want to! Sleeping socially, including with our children, has been the biological and cultural norm for human beings until the advent of the Industrial Revolution. Even today, bedsharing with children remains usual practice in many cultures and also for many families in the West, as a normal part of loving, psychologically healthy family life.