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What to do when baby wakes very frequently between her bedtime and when you go to bed?

Dr Pamela Douglas20th of Aug 202321st of May 2024

upset baby crying standing up next to cot

Does your baby wake frequently, even every half an hour or so, between when you put her down in the evening, and your own bedtime? It can hardly seem worth the effort to leave the room and try to have a normal evening, when you know any minute she'll be crying out for you! You might even begin to dread the evenings, since they are so filled with frustration and exhaustion.

This problem is caused by a number of things. You can find out more here. I'll address three of them now, with links to where you can find help.

  1. It may be that your baby is going down to sleep too early, relative to her own unique sleep needs. This may not be an obvious thing. You might even think this can't possibly be the case, because she is so obviously tired and grizzly early in the evening! But baby bedtimes are much closer to parent bedtimes in most cultures. It's true that your baby's sleep pressure may be high early in the evening, and that she usually dials up at this time of day. Once you know how to work with her body clock and sleep pressure, by doing do a reset, then after a couple of weeks the evenings are likely to be much more manageable. This does require thinking about the evenings quite differently though, and filling them up with rich sensory motor nourishment for your baby - which hopefully means, before all else, a much more interesting and enjoyable evening for you, with baby fitting in around your evening activities and social life.

  2. It could also be that your baby is napping for longer during the day than she needs. You can find out about this here.

  3. It could be that your baby's morning get up times need attention. You can find out about this here.

These ideas can sound very different to what you've thought of as healthy for your baby's sleep, or workable for you and your family, especially when you first hear them. But we want evenings - and sleep generally - to be as easy as possible for you and your family. We want the evenings to be filled with as much enjoyment together as you can possibly create! This is the way to make baby, child and parental sleep healthy, long-term.

I invite you to experiment with these ideas, and see what you think after you've given them a go, in your own unique family life!

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Evenings are often the hardest time of day when you have a baby, and more so if you're doing evenings on your own

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