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You know your baby best (even if it doesn't feel like it!)

Dr Pamela Douglas17th of Aug 202327th of Dec 2024

mother and baby outside wearing bright sunglasses

You know your own baby better than anyone else in the world. You are the one who is listening to and responding as best you can to your baby's communications or cues, day and night! This is how you and your baby get in sync.

Parents do a lot of experimenting. This is a great strength. You are likely to find yourself trying out something that has been suggested, to see if it works for you and your own unique baby. If it doesn't seem to work, you'll give that a miss after a while and try something else.

That's how I suggest you use the Possums programs. Some ideas you find in here might not seem relevant to you and your family, and you'll decide not to try them. Other things you'll experiment with for a time. Sometimes, certain strategies seems to work for a while, and then you try something else.

Parents might have been told that consistency is a parenting strength. As our children grow older, there can be some truth in this. But overall, the research shows that flexibility and a willingness to experiment and see what actually works, adapting over time, is a source of great strength and resilience not only in life, but in parenting.

Even with older children, decisions that are right for your child at one age might be quite inappropriate as your child prepares to finish school or leave home, for instance. Staying emotionally connected and listening to your child, even as you set boundaries, really matters.

Strong relationships require flexibility, respect, trust and communication. We begin building this from the first days of our little one's life by experimenting to see what works. It's not that everything goes well in strong relationships: on the contrary, there is often misunderstanding or confusion or worse.

What matters is that you know how to rebuild trust, by continuing to listen, by to continuing to respond, by continuing to experiment, from the first days of your little one's life.

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Next up in the dial on your baby's nervous system

A dialled up sympathetic nervous system gets in the way of easy baby sleep

mother holding up crying baby

A dialled up sympathetic nervous system gets in the way of easy baby sleep

There are two biological hungers which dial up your baby’s sympathetic nervous system. These are your baby's

  • Hunger for milk, and

  • Hunger for richer sensory motor experience (which could be contact with your or another loving adult’s body, or a change in sensory environment).

A dialled up sympathetic nervous system makes it more difficult for one of your baby’s sleep regulators, the rising sleep pressure, to do its work of switching on sleep. You can find out about your baby's two sleep regulators, the body clock and sleep pressure, here and here.

When you use your baby sleep superpowers to dial your baby down, his sleep regulators do their job of sending him to sleep easily. Knowing...

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    Why responding to your baby matters
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    Experimenting is your secret strength when you're caring for a baby
  • 2

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    Signs your baby shows when dialling up
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