Plan enjoyable days outside the home to help with toddler sleep

Are you a primary carer, mostly (though not always) a mother, who finds you're waking up exhausted in the morning, before the day has even begun? Unbelievable exhaustion is common at this time of life. Night and day become a weary blur.

This is why I suggest planning each day’s activities ahead of time. You may be so exhausted when you wake that the thought of getting out of the house seems impossible – but if you know you have a friend waiting for coffee catchup, or a parent’s group with others in your situation to chat with, or a plan to get some task done, then it’s easier to put one foot in front of the other (breakfast, dressing the toddler, not to mention the whole project of somehow taking a shower yourself …), and get yourself and your small child out of the house.

Remember: it’s about workability, not perfection. It doesn’t matter if you forget things. It doesn’t matter if your hair isn’t quite right. It doesn’t matter if your clothes are creased. It doesn’t even matter if you're running late – better to show up late than not at all.

It's just getting out that matters – because even though the idea of a week with activities planned can feel quite exhausting at the outset, women or primary carers tell me over and over again that the week was easier when they were out of the house a lot. The toddler was happier. The social contact felt good.

Small steps, aiming to do little achievable things, are best.

However, you'll work out how to best balance things up, because your little one is likely to be much more dialled down when you're outside the house, which makes the day much easier for you. Being out of the house most of the day or at least for a few times a day (even for adventures into the back yard) might actually turn out to be, when you look back over the week, so much more manageable. I’d like to suggest that you experiment with being really quite adventurous for a week, if you can, even though it feels tough as you're making the plans, then review at the end of that week.

Is there someone who cares about you and your toddler who can take your little one so that you have time to plan the week, reaching out to friends that you haven’t had time to see much, researching local parent groups and activities? You can find a weekly planner here.

For many women, the return to paid work after maternity leave happens very quickly. You might have already returned to paid work. These days at home with your small child are a precious opportunity to practice slowing down and letting go of the clock, attending to small things in the here and now, nurturing your friendships, getting out into your local parks and natural environments, caring for your body by walking.

You can let your toddler's sleep look after itself, in the midst of a life that you enjoy - for you - with your precious child simply following along.

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You can download an A4 page for planning out your week here.