Logo - The Possums baby and toddler sleep program.Logo - The Possums baby and toddler sleep program.
menu-icon-libraryfull programsmenu-icon-audioaudio program
what is the possums sleep program?building this program from the scienceresearch that shows it workstestimonials from parents
speak to dr pam
login-iconlogin

Welcome back!

Forgot password
sign up
search

Search programs

Caring for You icon

Caring for You


  • How to practice opening up your attention when you have baby or toddler sleep problems
  • It helps to know how to make room for painful feelings when you have baby or toddler sleep problems
  • It helps to notice and name worried or repetitive negative thoughts, but it doesn't help to try to get rid of them
  • Can you let your thoughts play like a radio in the background or float like a leaf on a stream sometimes when you're caring for a baby or toddler?
  • Bring your attention back to the present moment over and over when you're caring for a baby or toddler
  • Slow deep breathing really does help sometimes when you're caring for a baby or toddler
  • Dropping an anchor during emotional storms as you care for your baby or toddler
  • How to practice mindfulness by eating a piece of chocolate
  • Take tiny steps to do the things that matter (even if you don't feel like it) when you have baby or toddler sleep problems

Listen to audio program

Next article

Sign up now
  • Caring for You
  • S3: Doing what matters

Slow deep breathing really does help sometimes when you're caring for a baby or toddler

Dr Pamela Douglas22nd of Jul 202323rd of May 2024

yellow sign saying breathe

Why deep breathing helps

When we are dealing with a challenging situation (like caring for a baby or toddler), we might find ourselves experiencing high levels of sympathetic nervous system arousal sometimes. Our heart rate and blood pressure increase, we may notice feelings of anxiety in our body, and we might even become somewhat shaky and flushed.

Bringing our attention to our own breathing is a simple yet powerful way of dropping anchor into the present moment. We notice our body's sensations and feelings as we take the deep breaths, without trying to get rid of them because it usually doesn't help to try to make feelings go away.

Othertimes, the deep breathing might actually help our body dial down. Consciously taking deep breaths, which we allow to roll down into our belly, then exhaling slowly, switches on the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system is part of our body's innate soothing system.

Noticing and working with the breath are an important part of many physical and spiritual traditions, which have been practiced for millenia. However, we don't need to set ourselves up in special places or even alter what we are doing to practice deep breathing. Usually the demands of the present moment with a baby or toddler make it impossible to sit down and formally engage breathing practices, anyway!

We want this to be easy. You're always breathing. So what could be easier than noticing the tides of your breath, in and out, in and out?

Of course, if you're like me you'll be constantly distracted but that doesn't matter. Next time I remember - perhaps when I'm feeling stressed again, or when my mind has gone off into unhelpful thoughts - I begin once more, taking a deep breath, feeling the air (the life-giving mystery of our planet's atmosphere) flow into my body, opening up my chest and belly ... then letting it go.

You could try box breathing

'Box breathing' can be a powerful little strategy if you're feeling particularly dialled up. By box breathing, I mean that you

  • Slowly count to four as you breathe in

  • Hold your breath and count to four

  • Breathe out as you count to four

  • Hold your breath and count to four, before breathing in again.

There's no reason why box breathing has to be to the count of four though. The idea is that you slow down your breathing by pausing after you've breathed out, and then pausing again after you've taken a breath. You can do this in a way that suits you and your body. Try to make it easy, something you just have a go at every now and then without feeling you've got to get it right.

Recommended resources

The sympathetic nervous system and parasympathetic nervous system. Dr Russ Harris

Selected references

Balban M, Yilmaz, Neri E, Kogon MM, Weed L. Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine. 2023;4(1):100895.

Perciavalle V, Blandini M, Fecarotta P. The role of deep breathing on stress. Neurological Sciences. 2017;38:451-458.

Other recommended resources, acknowledgements, and selected references for the articles in the Caring for you section of The Possums Sleep Program are found here, including selected research evaluations of both Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion-focused Therapy in the perinatal period.

white love heart painted onto wooden beam

Finished

share this article

Next up in Doing what matters

Dropping an anchor during emotional storms as you care for your baby or toddler

anchor

Sometimes when we are buffetted by life's storms, returning to the present moment is like casting an anchor. This takes courage, but it keeps us safe as the storm passes over.

It's easy for us, as humans, to become lost in a thinking and feeling storm. At these times, we need to make more of an effort to bring our attention back.

  • Can you carefully attend to the things you can see, the things you can hear, the sensations in your body?

  • Can you move a little so that you notice your feet on the floor, the feeling of bending over or lifting your arms…

logo-possums
decoration

About us

AboutCode of ethicsSpeak to Dr Pam

Programs

Browse sleep programsAudio programsGet advice

Help & Support

FAQsContact us

Legal

Privacy policyTerms & conditions

Get sleep tips and Possums updates straight to your inbox

Receive tips, updates, offers and more from Possums. We respect your privacy, and we'll never spam you. Unsubscribe anytime.

Dr Pam logo

© Dr Pamela Douglas 2025

Visit to learn more about the Possums project