What to do about baby sleep when you have an older child or other children who need your attention?

Sometimes families are warned to keep the older child out of the way as much as possible when a new baby comes into the house. They might be advised to have one parent take the older child out much of the day, leaving the mother alone with the new baby in the house for long periods of time. Having a lot of support in the early days can make an enormous difference for a woman with a new baby, and especially when there is an older sibling. Every family has their own style and makes their own decisions. There isn't a right or wrong.

But after the first couple of weeks, newborns are usually showing signs of a voracious hunger for rich and changing sensory motor stimulation. Inside the house, a new baby often dials up because his sensory needs aren't met.

Have you heard mothers or primary carers comment that everything was easier with their second child? I think this is because the second born has to fit in with family life - there's no other option - and amazingly, she does! Naps occur on the go during the day, as the primary carer does the kindy or school drop-off or takes the older child to music class or soccer practice. Breastfeeds or feeds are frequent and flexible. The new baby follows along, in and out of the car, in and out of the carrier or the pram, and is dialled down by the rich sensory nourishment of all these small daily adventures.

Things tend to go well when parents expect the new baby to fit into their ordinary daily life outside the home, as they go about meeting their own needs or the needs of their older child or children. They are using the two baby sleep superpowers (of frequent flexible feeds, and rich and changing sensory motor stimulation) to keep baby dialled down. The days, though busy and still often exhausting, become as relaxed and as enjoyable as possible.

You could say this is taking off the sleep lens, and putting on the sensory lens. It's an important way to grow joy in early life, even when your hands are already full with an older child or children and a new little one has arrived.