It can seem as though planning your days in advance is even more hard work ...

Are you a primary carer, often though not always a mother, who finds you're waking up exhausted in the morning before the day has even begun? Unbelievable exhaustion is common at this time of life. Night and day become a weary blur.

This is why I suggest planning each day’s activities ahead of time. You may be so exhausted when you wake that the thought of getting out of the house seems impossible – but if you know you have a friend waiting for coffee catchup, or a parent’s group with others in your situation to chat with, or a plan to get some task done, then it’s easier to put one foot in front of the other (the feed, the nappy change, the locating of a fresh jumpsuit, not to mention the whole project of somehow taking a shower …) to get yourself and baby out of the house.

Remember: it’s about workability, not perfection. It doesn’t matter if you forget things. Someone will lend you a baby wipe or you'll improvise. It doesn’t matter if your hair isn’t quite right. It doesn’t matter if your clothes are creased or have a stain or two. It doesn’t even matter if you're running late – better to show up late than not at all.

... But filling days with activities outside the home makes life with baby so much easier

It's just getting out that matters. Even though planning to fill a week with activities can feel quite exhausting at the outset, women or primary carers tell me over and over again that at the end of that week, they look back and feel the days were easier because they were out of the house a lot. The baby was happier. The social contact felt good.

Small steps, aiming to do little achievable things, are best.

However, you'll work out how to best balance things up, because your baby is likely to be much more dialled down when you're outside the house, which makes the day much easier for you. Being out of the house most of the day, or at least for a few times a day (even for adventures into the back yard), might actually turn out to be, when you look back over the week, so much more manageable. I’d like to suggest that you experiment with being really quite adventurous for a week, if you can, even though it feels tough to get out, and then review.

Is there someone who cares about you and the baby who can take the baby so that you have time to plan the week, reaching out to friends that you haven’t had time to see since the baby was born, researching local parent groups and activities? You can find a weekly planner here.

For many women, the return to paid work after maternity leave happens very quickly. These days with your baby are a precious opportunity to practice slowing down and letting go of the clock, attending to small things in the here and now, nurturing your friendships, getting out into your local parks and natural environments, caring for your body by walking.

You can let your baby's sleep look after itself, in the midst of a life that you enjoy - for you - with baby simply following along.

Recommended resource

You can download an A4 page for planning out your week here.