Logo - The Possums baby and toddler sleep program.

the possums
sleep program

find essentialsbrowse the programabout the programspeak to dr pamaudiologin / sign up

search for articles

  • caring for you
  • toddler

How to do evenings with a breastfed toddler when the breastfeeding mother is not available?

Dr Pamela Douglas28th of Mar 202423rd of May 2024

father plays with daughter in the evening

Enjoy sensory adventures with your toddler in the evening until her sleep pressure is very high

When a breastfeeding woman is not available in the evenings, you'll be able to do bedtime quite easily using your toddler-sleep superpower of rich and changing sensory motor nourishment. You might also still like to use your other toddler-sleep superpower of milk to dial your little one down into sleep when the sleep pressure is very high. You can find out about bottle use and toddler sleep here.

It’s not necessary to dim the lights in the evening. When your toddler's sleep pressure is high enough, he'll fall off to sleep easily with a quick feed of milk (if you are using the bottle) or a cuddle, whether the lights are on or not, as long as he is dialled down.  

Evenings can come unstuck though if you feel you have to put your small child down to bed at a particular time, because that's when she'll remember that her mother is gone and vigorously protest. Instead, you'd continue on with rich and changing sensory motor nourishment until her sleep pressure is so high, that she drops off to sleep in your arms.

  • Enjoy loud, noisy, highly physical play with your toddler. You can find out why this is good for your toddler's nervous system, and doesn't overstimulate him, here

  • You can find other ideas for making the evenings with your toddler as easy and as enjoyable as possible using the toddler-sleep superpower of rich sensory motor nourishment here. Of course, you may face constraints if you are also caring for an older child or children. Older siblings themselves are a powerhouse of sensory motor stimulation for toddlers, and can make the evenings much easier than they would be otherwise, just because they're around.

older child plays with toddler in the evening

Finished

share this article

Next up in toddler

How to do toddler sleep when you've made the decision to wean from the breast?

blue eyed caucasian child breastfeeding while looking at camera

This article assumes that you've made the decision to wean your toddler from the breast based upon accurate information. For example, excessive night waking doesn't result from frequent and flexible breastfeeds, or from breastfeeding to sleep, but from disruption to your toddler's body clock. If your toddler is waking excessively, a body clock reset is required.

What is the kindest way to wean your breastfed toddler?

It can help for a breastfeeding mother to disappear for a number of nights, while the father or other loving parent takes over night wakes. If the little one knows you are in the house, she is likely to dial up even harder when she wakes, crying or screaming in the hope you will come and breastfeed her again.

If you are wanting to night wean, you might

    ...

more articles in toddler

  • 4

    minute
    read

    How to support a breastfeeding woman so that toddler sleep isn't entirely up to her
  • 1

    minute
    read

    Practice kind and empathic responses to your partner when your family is facing baby or toddler sleep problems
  • 1

    minute
    read

    How a partner doing paid work from home can help meet the sensory motor needs of your baby or toddler
  • 3

    minute
    read

    Supporting your partner when your toddler is bottle-fed and toddler sleep is a challenge
View full article list
Possum sleep program logo

the possums
baby & toddler
sleep program

about the programfind essentialsspeak to dr pamaudiocode of ethicsterms & conditionsprivacy policyFAQs / help
Dr Pam logo

© Dr Pamela Douglas 2025

visit drpam.baby for more programs