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  • How to support a breastfeeding woman so that toddler sleep isn't entirely up to her
  • Practice kind and empathic responses to your partner when your family is facing baby or toddler sleep problems
  • How a partner doing paid work from home can help meet the sensory motor needs of your baby or toddler
  • Supporting your partner when your toddler is bottle-fed and toddler sleep is a challenge
  • How to do evenings with a breastfed toddler when the breastfeeding mother is not available?
  • How to do toddler sleep when you've made the decision to wean from the breast?
  • What to do when it's time for another loving adult to take over caring for your breastfed toddler in the night?
  • If you're breastfeeding and in a toddler sleep emergency, consider asking another loving adult to take over for a time

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  • Caring for You
  • S5: How your child's other parent or carer can help
  • CH 2: Toddler

How to do evenings with a breastfed toddler when the breastfeeding mother is not available?

Dr Pamela Douglas28th of Mar 202423rd of May 2024

father plays with daughter in the evening

Enjoy sensory adventures with your toddler in the evening until her sleep pressure is very high

When a breastfeeding woman is not available in the evenings, you'll be able to do bedtime quite easily using your toddler-sleep superpower of rich and changing sensory motor nourishment. You might also still like to use your other toddler-sleep superpower of milk to dial your little one down into sleep when the sleep pressure is very high. You can find out about bottle use and toddler sleep here.

It’s not necessary to dim the lights in the evening. When your toddler's sleep pressure is high enough, he'll fall off to sleep easily with a quick feed of milk (if you are using the bottle) or a cuddle, whether the lights are on or not, as long as he is dialled down.  

Evenings can come unstuck though if you feel you have to put your small child down to bed at a particular time, because that's when she'll remember that her mother is gone and vigorously protest. Instead, you'd continue on with rich and changing sensory motor nourishment until her sleep pressure is so high, that she drops off to sleep in your arms.

  • Enjoy loud, noisy, highly physical play with your toddler. You can find out why this is good for your toddler's nervous system, and doesn't overstimulate him, here

  • You can find other ideas for making the evenings with your toddler as easy and as enjoyable as possible using the toddler-sleep superpower of rich sensory motor nourishment here. Of course, you may face constraints if you are also caring for an older child or children. Older siblings themselves are a powerhouse of sensory motor stimulation for toddlers, and can make the evenings much easier than they would be otherwise, just because they're around.

older child plays with toddler in the evening

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How to do toddler sleep when you've made the decision to wean from the breast?

blue eyed caucasian child breastfeeding while looking at camera

This article assumes that you've made the decision to wean your toddler from the breast based upon accurate information. For example, excessive night waking doesn't result from frequent and flexible breastfeeds, or from breastfeeding to sleep, but from disruption to your toddler's body clock. If your toddler is waking excessively, a body clock reset is required.

What is the kindest way to wean your breastfed toddler?

It can help for a breastfeeding mother to disappear for a number of nights, while the father or other loving parent takes over night wakes. If the little one…

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