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Supporting your partner when your toddler is bottle-fed and toddler sleep is a challenge

Dr Pamela Douglas2nd of Nov 20232nd of Jul 2024

dad plays with his older child

Even if you toddler takes milk from the bottle, much of his food intake will be from solid food now. You'll also be making sure there's plenty of water available. You can find out about toddlers and food starting here.

Here are things to consider once a small child who takes milk from the bottle is 12 months old.

  • If your toddler is waking excessively at night, it's typically due to disruptions of his body clock settings, not due to feeds or hunger. You can find out more here.

  • Toddler's formula is not better for your little one's brain or immunity than cow's milk, but contains extra carbohydrates and sugars which aren't good for your toddler's health. This is why whole-cream cow's milk (not toddler formula) is recommended for non-breastfeeding children after 12 months of age.

  • By 12 months of age, little ones take water or milk through a sippy cup or from a beaker or cup. You are likely to have reserved the bottle of milk for sleep-time only.

  • You're best limiting cow’s milk to around 2 cups (about 500 mls) in a 24-hour period as your child's second year of life progresses. This is because using the bottle does have different effects to using the breast. It's normal for toddlers to wake up to a few times in the night, and easy for your toddler to start taking so much milk in the night that his appetite during the day is affected. For this reason, many parents wean their toddler off the bottle in the night once that second year of life is underway. You can find out about making this decision here.

  • You can find out why there's usually no reason to offer a bottle of milk if you're weaning your toddler from the breast in the night here.

For as long as your toddler is bottle-fed, you'll be able to share bottle feeds with your toddler's other parent, or take them over completely. Only you and your partner know what's right in your own unique family circumstance.

Selected research

Antonious E, Stamoulou P, Tzanoulinou M-D. Perinatal mental health, the role and the effect of the partner: a systematic review. Healthcare. 2021;9:1572.

Antoniou E, Tzanoulinou M-D, Stmoulou P. The important role of partner support in women's mental disorders during the perinatal period. A literature review. Meaedica a Journal of Clinical Medicine. 2022;17(1):194-200.

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How to do evenings with a breastfed toddler when the breastfeeding mother is not available?

father plays with daughter in the evening

Enjoy sensory adventures with your toddler in the evening until her sleep pressure is very high

When a breastfeeding woman is not available in the evenings, you'll be able to do bedtime quite easily using your toddler-sleep superpower of rich and changing sensory motor nourishment. You might also still like to use your other toddler-sleep superpower of milk to dial your little one down into sleep when the sleep pressure is very high. You can find out about bottle use and toddler sleep here.

It’s not necessary to dim the lights in the evening. When your toddler's sleep pressure is high enough, he'll fall off to sleep easily with a quick feed of milk (if you are using the bottle) or a cuddle, whether the lights are...

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